


Mother-in-Law, May I?

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Family, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 23:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7142474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“For someone living it, it’s not as difficult as it might sound to someone who has no idea of its existence and validity.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mother-in-Law, May I?

“Mami?” Rafael picked up his phone. He was actually about to leave his office to meet Liv for dinner and some drinks but he hadn’t talked to his mother for almost a week so it was probably better to just answer and get the form of torture over with. At least he would be drinking after.

“Hello Rafi, can you hear me?”

“I can but where are you, it’s loud.”

“I just got off the bus, walking the two blocks home. Of course it’s loud, it’s June in the South Bronx. Some things never change.”

“Is it a good idea to walk down the street chattering on a cell phone? You should be paying attention to your surroundings.” Rafael slipped back into his shoes, putting on his Bluetooth before bending down to tie them. It had been that kind of day, the take off your shoes, walk across the carpet for a while, and don’t quit your job day.

“I'm wearing the headphones you bought me so I am hands free. And I am carrying a Taser. Abuelita ordered it for me from one of those catalogs she always had, God rest her soul. So I'm OK.”

“Just be careful with that thing. They can carry up to 20,000 volts.” He said.

“That’s what someone would deserve if they tried to snatch my purse. I worked too hard for what little we have.”

“Yes, mami. Are you alright? Is there a reason you're calling?”

“Do I need a reason now to call my youngest son?” Lucia asked. “We don’t even live that far apart but don’t speak enough. I never hear from your brother, at least I talk to the boys sometimes. And Camilla is so far away; Savannah may as well be Cuba. I know she loves that Mexican but he took my only daughter away.”

“Javier didn’t take Milla away, Mami. You can go and visit her any time; her door is always open. You should really think about that before schools go back into session. I know you're working on summer school and after school community programs but have you ever thought about a vacation. Georgia is gorgeous in the summer. Take Tita Isabelle with you and make a real time to relax. I know Milla and her girls would love to have abuela to themselves for a whole week. If money is an issue, I can get you both a ticket.”

“I called to talk to you about something important.”

“I'm listening.” Rafael said. 

And he was. Because whenever his mother called about something important, he had no idea what was coming. It usually involved him having to give up time and energy to do something that he didn’t want to do. His brother was no help at all where the aging women in the family were concerned. Like his namesake, Rafael’s father, he was a piece of shit. 

If it didn’t directly benefit him in some way, better believe he wasn’t coming through. Lucia had learned that a long time ago though she did her best never to bad mouth her son. He'd made some bad choices, usually the women he wanted to marry and procreate with. But he gave her three grandchildren and he owned his own business. That was something to be proud of.

“I work with a girl named Katherina, Puerto Rican girl, sweet. She recently came out to us, that’s what you call it, coming out, right?”

“Yes.” Rafael wasn’t sure where this was going.

“She’s just a baby, about 27 and teaching second grade. I went to her one day and I asked her to help me. I wanted to know how her parents felt about this gay thing. I wanted to know what the different between all the way gay and this bisexual thing is. I may have overwhelmed her.”

“I have little doubt.” The ADA shook his head.

“Anyway, she was happy to help when she heard I had a gay son except he was bisexual and not regular gay. So we went to the library after school last week and I checked out two books. One was for dealing with parents of teens who come out and the other was for adults who come out. Kate said when I was finished reading them we could talk as long as I needed to. I finished the second one last night.”

“Well there are only going to be number 2 pencils and calculators allowed for the test.” Rafael said. “Those gay algorithms can get pretty difficult.”

“Don’t make jokes.”

“I'm sorry, mami.”

“Kate and I will talk at lunch tomorrow and then take another trip to the library to specifically look up things about this bisexuality. I just cannot understand how you can be half and half. It makes no sense to me, Rafi.”

“It’s not half and half, it’s a scale. There are bisexuals who lean toward being more attracted to one gender than the other. Rarely is it 50-50. And it’s not about who you sleep with either. There are bisexuals who may never be in a same sex relationship even if they’ve had intercourse with the same sex. 

“The same goes for opposite sex. For someone living it, it’s not as difficult as it might sound to someone who has no idea of its existence and validity. But sexual attraction to different, the same, and both genders has been studied here in America since at least the 1940s. Ask Kate to give you the simple lesson on Dr. Alfred Kinsey.”

“Who? Who is Dr. McKenzie?” Lucia asked.

“Alfred Kinsey. I’ll text you the name later and you can show it to her. I'm sure there are books or essays which simplify some of Kinsey’s studies. They took place over long periods and he focused his research on both males and females, though it was when he started discussing women actually being sexually autonomous that people tried to shut him down. Interesting huh?”

“No one should be sharing their sexual business with some doctor who wants to write a book about them.”

“But if they didn’t, how would Kate be helping you today. Mami, homosexuality was considered a mental illness well in the 1970s. Coming out to parents could literally have you being admitted into an insane asylum where they would give you electro shock therapy and sometimes immerse you in watching heterosexual pornography to make you like woman’s parts. They did the same to young women, who had even less control over what their families put them through. 

“It was a form of torture that some people are still getting away with. All the horrible ways we control people come back around. Now they’re called conversion camps. And luckily our federal government is shutting them down as well. A 13 year old boy who knows he's attracted to boys isn't sick; he's gay. It shouldn’t be something that makes his own family complicit in bringing harm to him.”

“How old were you, Rafael, when you knew this bisexual thing?” Lucia asked.

“Mami, you actually caught me just as I was walking out the door. Olivia Benson and I are going to have dinner and work on this case we have in court next week. The witness list is complicated and we could be going for a few hours.”

“Is that a polite way of not answering my question?”

“I was 12 when I finally admitted to myself that I was attracted to boys; had probably known since I was about 8. I repressed it until I was about 17 and then when I was away, at Harvard, I was finally able to take it out, look at it, and explore it some. Please don’t ask me what that means because I don’t want to talk about that right now.”

Rafael wasn’t going to talk about that with his mother ever. She could threaten him with a hot poker but he wouldn’t say a word. That journey was his and sharing wasn’t something he needed to do, especially with Lucia.

“Alright, look, go to your dinner with Lieutenant Benson. I'm on the block so I will be inside soon.”

“Lock all the doors and make sure you put the house alarm on. We paid good money to have it installed.”

“Yes, yes.” Lucia’s tone was dismissive. “I will put the alarm on and hope one of the cats doesn’t trigger it.”

“Cats?”

“I adopted two cats recently, their names are Cheddar and Puff. They were going to be euthanized and I felt so horrible. I'm alone here and read an article that said pets can keep your blood pressure normal, decrease loneliness, and make you happier. I do adore them.”

“I'm kinda deathly allergic to cats, mami, remember?”

“It was never that bad. Your papa was bad; the stray cats used to make his face blow up like a party balloon. I want you and Trevor to come over to the house on Sunday afternoon. I will make brunch after Mass and we will talk. Can you make it?”

“I'm sure we can.” Rafael wasn’t entirely thrilled as Sunday was their special day of the week to wear as little clothing as possible unless they were out walking the dog. They would either have something crazy like pizza for breakfast or make an elaborate steak and eggs with mimosas. There was Motown in the morning and disco in the afternoon, and the evening would be wrapped up with the best of 80s pop-rock. Sometimes they kept Noah overnight and he had a great time living in their adventurous weekend. “What time does Mass end?”

“12. I’ll come home and make some good food; tell your tall man to bring his appetite.”

“I will, mami.”

“And you bring an antihistamine so you won't feel too bad around the cats.”

“Alright.” Rafael was already regretting the feline situation. He also knew that nothing but the impending zombie apocalypse or the second coming of Christ could get him, and apparently Trevor, out of this brunch business. “I gotta go mami, but I love you and I’ll see you on Sunday.”

“Love you too, Rafael. Tell Trevor I said hello.”

“I will. Bye bye.”

“Bye.”

He took out his Bluetooth and started rushing around getting his things together. He was already 15 minutes later than he wanted to be. He and Liv would probably still end up at the restaurant at the same time but Rafael liked being early. He liked picking his table or his perfect spot at the bar. He wasn’t fond of getting what was left for the late comers. So he grabbed his briefcase, told Carmen she should go home as he was heading to the elevator and out of Hogan Place.

***

“You're clearly distracted.”

“Hmm?” Rafael looked at her as he took a healthy drink of his scotch.

“Earth to Barba.” Liv waved her hand in front of his face, laughing some. “What's going on with you?”

“I'm fine.”

“You're not.” She shook her head.

“My mother called before I left the office.”

“Is she alright?” Liv asked.

“She's been reading.” Rafael replied.

“What does that mean? You make it sound scary.”

“Some poor young teacher, unaware of what she was doing, recently came out to my mother and her other co-workers. Now my mother wants her to be the gay whisperer for her. She’s been reading about gay people, different sexual orientations, and parents with non-straight kids.”

“Isn't this a good thing?” Liv asked.

“In a perfect world, maybe it would be. In the world of Lucia Barba, I have no idea what's coming. Trevor and I have been invited over for Sunday brunch.”

“You're never too old to learn tolerance and acceptance.”

“My mother has tolerated my existence for over 40 years.” Rafael smiled but it wasn’t happy. “Nothing is going to change; it’s just another way to make me have to accept her misunderstanding and indifference.”

“You're not even going to give her a chance?”

“Of course I'm going to give her a chance, but that’s mostly because I don’t have a lot of choice. This isn't easy to talk about, Liv.”

“I know,” she reached her hand across the table and put it on top of his. “I'm sorry. I never had the greatest relationship with my mother either. I tried and tried and it seemed like nothing ever worked longer than a few weeks or so. There are days when I miss her so much and other days I know I'm missing something we never had.”

“When did she die?” Rafael asked. 

He didn’t know a lot about Olivia’s relationship with her mother. He knew she passed away. He knew she was an alcoholic and a brilliant college professor. Liv didn’t say much else and he didn’t press. They were good friends, yes, but he had his own family secrets so there was no use opening that Pandora’s Box. 

“Over 15 years ago. I'm not going to tell you to give your mother a million second chances just because I lost mine. Just keep an open mind and a flask in your pocket if need be.”

“And some Benadryl. Mami has gotten cats.”

“You're allergic to cats.” Liv said.

“I know that, you know that, and my mother even knows that. But she wanted companionship and I guess didn’t take me very much into account since we don’t see each other often, at least not at home.”

“Are you going to be alright there for a few hours?”

Rafael really didn’t know. Cats could be the death of him. He would try, cursing his mother the whole time while simultaneously asking God for forgiveness for cursing his mother. He had a million reasons to be apprehensive about this entire thing, the cats were just another red flag. He was lucky that his mother even told him about it. She actually mentioned them in passing, he would've had no idea if he hadn’t first mentioned the alarm. That’s how careless Lucia could sometimes be. He had to have gotten it from somewhere.

“I need to go home.” He sighed.

“Of course. You could've just called and canceled; we didn’t have to do this tonight.”

“We got some things accomplished and I got dinner out of it so that’s good. But I need to see Trevor and have some puppy time.”

“How is Miss Blanche?” Liv asked.

“She is the most amazing creature ever.” Now Rafael was smiling. “She came in second in her class at obedience school graduation and she’s always a darling at puppy day care. I'm teaching her some adorable new tricks; she's brilliant.”

“You're smiling just talking about her.” Liv ignored Rafael’s face when she slipped her credit card into the bill book. They did this all the time, there was no need tonight. “She really is man’s best friend, huh?”

“If my mother loves her cats like I love my dog then I want her to have that happiness. I just don’t want to have to die because of it.”

She patted his hand. To tell him everything would be wonderful would be condescending and she wasn’t going to do it. Liv had met Lucia Barba a couple of times and she could be a very tough pill to swallow. She knew that Rafael had been having difficulty with her since announcing that he and Trevor were going to be married. Add that to the years of difficulty the mother and son had…she sympathized with her friend. 

The ADA had a lot on his plate, not the least of which was his upcoming wedding. Rafael didn’t talk about it much but he wanted nothing to ruin that day. He and Trevor had been through enough, this was their time. It would be nice if his mother could come around and not just begrudgingly support his moment.

***

“Pay attention.” Rafael put his finger under his dog’s chin so she was looking at him. “Pay attention to daddy, little one.”

Blanche didn’t look as if she was in the mood to pay attention but she did look at Rafael. He was sitting on the bedroom floor, legs open, with Blanche sitting between them. He'd played with her for a while, giving her some ribbon to chase and conquer, but now it was time for learning. He'd been teaching her some tricks for about a month but it wasn’t going his way. 

Doggy school taught her things like sit and roll over and quiet and speak. That was wonderful as Rafael had no idea how to do those things. But he was teaching her a few fancy things and hope she caught on so they could show them off to people on their walks. Blanche always got a lot of attention, as she was quite adorable. Rafael thought these tricks might make her the most awesome dog on the Upper West Side, even if he was incredibly biased.

“OK Blanche, say hello. Say hello to daddy. Stand up and say hello.” Rafael moved his hand up and Blanche sat on her hind legs and held up her front legs. “Good girl, say hello. Say hello.”

She started to wave her front legs happily and Rafael smiled. He took a treat from the small bag beside him and gave it to her.

“Perfect. You are so smart.” He petted her head. “You really are the smartest dog ever, daddy is proud of you. Can you show off? Can you show off, Blanche?”

She looked at him for a couple of moments, seemed to be debating whether she felt like it or not.

“C'mon, Blanche, there's something in it for you. Can you show off? Show off for your fans.”

She sat down, turned her back on Rafael, and then looked back at him with the sweetest face. He smiled big enough to brighten the whole room. Blanche happily accepted his treat.

“Good job. Tell me who's the prettiest dog in the whole world.”

The dog rolled over on her back and showed off her belly. She happily grumbled when Rafael rubbed it.

“Yes,” he cooed. “Yes, it’s you; yes it’s Blanche Dubois. Come and give daddy love.”

She jumped up on Rafael’s leg and he bent down so he could snuggle her and she could lick his face. Blanche really was the best gift ever. As much as he'd always wanted a dog, Rafael didn’t know if he had the time or temperament to care for one properly. Puppies, and though Blanche was almost a year old when they got her she was still considered a puppy, were even more of a handful. But he and his dog got along so well. 

She could be spoiled and moody just like him. She loved to cuddle and loved attention more than anything. After long days in the court room or in meetings he didn’t want to be in, Rafael would come home and get so much unconditional love. In return he spoiled Blanche to pieces. Yes, he was part of the problem and didn’t care one bit. 

It was the best, high end food and treats, always. She had a specially made collar from a high end pet store. She had sweaters and little socks and a raincoat that Rafael actually bought at Bergdorf’s. He carried her around sometimes in a $500 Lola fur-lined dog bag that Trevor loathed. 

But Rafael would not be swayed when it came to his baby. She would only have the best, from dog beds to toys she could mangle. Blanche was not a PetSmart dog. Not that there was anything wrong with such a thing. It just wasn’t the Rafael Barba way.

“Daddy loves you,” he cuddled her close to his chest. “He loves you, he loves you so much. Go and wake second daddy. Go on and he’ll give you more love.” Rafael put the dog back on the carpet. “Go and wake second daddy. Go on.”

Blanche ran up the doggy steps and onto the bed as fast as her short legs would take her. Trevor was asleep in bed on his stomach, sheets around his waist. She started to tap dance her front paws across his arm.

“Blanche.” He groaned, taking the tiny dog into his big hand and moving her halfway across the bed. “Stop it.”

She looked back at Rafael and he egged her on again. So Blanche was pouncing back across the bed and once again dancing all over Trevor’s arm. He opened one eye and looked at her.

“Where is your father, you furry beast?”

Blanche just blinked at him. Even in this totally drowsy state, it wasn’t as if Trevor expected the bulldog to answer. Still, Rafael had to be close or Blanche would have either followed him or she’d be in her cage. He'd been facing toward the door while sleep so he turned his head toward the master bathroom. There was Rafael sitting on the floor. He had a smile on his face.

“What are you doing?” Trevor asked. “Did you sic her on me?”

“Wake up and play with us.” Rafael replied.

“What time is it?”

“A little after ten…I let you sleep in.”

“You must be so proud of yourself.” Trevor mumbled.

“I am, as a matter of fact.”

“Mmm hmm.” Trevor nodded and closed his eyes again.

“Come to daddy, Blanche.” Rafael called the dog. “C'mere, sweet one.”

She ran across the bed and down the doggy steps. Once she hopped onto Rafael’s lap, he cuddled her. He went to put her in her cage and knew that she wouldn’t be happy. Blanche whined as the door closed. She put her paws against it and started to scratch, whining more.

“Uh uh, relax.” Rafael said in his soothing voice. “Be a good puppy.”

Blanche stopped scratching but still whined a few more times to get her point across. She didn’t like to be confined when her humans were awake. Usually Rafael only put her in there at bedtime, she couldn’t be trusted yet not to rip and run through the condo breaking things. The dog wasn’t a genius but she knew the difference between bedtime and daytime. This lockup was deserving of protest. Rafael was doing the calming hands motion; after a few minutes Blanche gave up and went over to her cashmere sleeping blanket. She gave her father the evil eye though before Rafael went over to the bed.

“My handsome man.” He said.

“You're a troublemaker.”

“So that means you don’t want to cuddle?” Rafael asked.

“Get in this bed, Counselor.”

Rafael grinned, sliding underneath the sheets. Trevor groaned and moved onto his side. He wrapped his arms around Rafael and kissed his temple.

“I could make breakfast.” Rafael took Trevor’s hand, lacing their fingers.

“I can't have a big breakfast and then go to your mother’s house. I won't be able to eat so soon after and Lucia expects me to clean my plate.”

“I'm not letting you go to my mother’s on an empty stomach. We can have bagels and coffee; maybe split a crab cake. Maybe have a crab cake each.”

“Do you ever not think about food?” Trevor yawned.

“Sure. I think about sex, ties, naps, statutes, books, porn…but mostly food.”

“I know. You think about porn?”

“Everyone thinks about porn.” Rafael said.

“I don’t think about porn.” Trevor shook his head.

“Ooh, let's a give a hand for Mr. Trevor Langan.”

“And I'm sure you only have one since you'll need the other to think about porn.”

“Don’t make me tickle you, you sanctimonious bastard.” Rafael turned in his arms. “My porn hand is pretty strong.”

“We might want to get all talk about porn out of our systems before seeing your mother this afternoon.”

“Ooh, you want to have dirty sex with me, don’t you?”

“I was actually thinking about that bagel and crab cake offer from earlier.” Trevor said.

“And then dirty sex with me?”

“And then dirty sex with you.” He nodded.

“I’ll put on the coffee.” Rafael went to jump from the bed.

“C'mere, you,” Trevor pulled him back into his arms. “I didn’t even get my morning kiss.”

“I love you.” Rafael gave him Eskimo kisses before Trevor pulled him close and kissed him with intensity. Maybe he had jumped out of the bed too soon. But his fiancé wanted sustenance before sex. Oh well.

“Te amo, Rafael.”

“Forever?”

“I’ll think about it.” Trevor smiled.

“Well you’ve got a few months to make up your mind.” He got out of the bed. Blowing Trevor a kiss, he walked out of the bedroom.

Trevor smiled and sank even more into the sheets. He might get another ten or fifteen minutes of sleep if he played his cards right. One needed to be in tip-top shape to spend the afternoon with Lucia and Rafael Barba. Though she and her son were vastly different in their ways, both could drain Trevor of all of his energy.

***


End file.
